There Used to Be

There used to be

Electricity running through these veins

Sparking and crackling

A powerful blaze

A current so strong

It was felt more than seen

An invisible train

With invisible steam

There used to be

Fire behind these eyes

Dancing and playing

A burning surprise

A swirling inferno

That was carefully contained

Bright orange plumes

Proud and unashamed

Now there is a darkness

A deep and empty space

The flames have been extinguished

The current has been replaced

The electricity and the fire

Have flickered out with time

Now they’re just a memory

A punishment for some crime.

Easier

Is it easier to weep

When everyone is in despair

Can you grasp on to the hope

That you’re riding through unclean air

Can you grasp on to the thought

That maybe you’re just one

One of those many faces

One that isn’t done

Is it easier to cry

When everyone is in despair

Can you grasp on to the fears

That lie beneath the surface, everywhere

Can you hold to the hope

Can you grasp onto the tears

Is life that never-ending swell

Of combatants and combating fears

Is it easier to live

To turn a blinding eye

To those who also feel the pain

Those who cannot  try

Can you look inside yourself

See that blue and empty earth

Is it living that is empty here

Or just an unclaimed hearse

Anyway

I am living in the same place you last saw me

The windows remain undressed

The room remains wide open

With the ancient boxes serving as desks

I am roaming the halls where you last left me

Passing the white and black space

Passing the hills of tomes on the floor

With thoughts of that old battered bookcase

Like living in a mausoleum

Like living in a breathing tomb

I’m holding court for the ghosts of yesterday

Playing to an audience of no one in the room

I am not missing you at all

There is no reason to at all

I am not thinking of the past

I know that it won't last

Anyway…

I am living in the same place you last left me

Though many things are not the same

The little gifts have all been thrown away

No trace that you remain or ever even came

I am roaming the same halls where you last saw me

With the understanding of what was untrue

With the knowledge that my love was only built

A construction that I created out of you

Like living in a mausoleum

Like living in a breathing tomb

I’m holding court for the ghosts of yesterday

Playing to an audience of no one in the room

I am not missing you at all

There is no reason to at all

I am not thinking of the past

I know that it won't last

Anyway...

Redemption

I have crossed the living river Styx

Backing away from the underworld

Navigating through outstretched arms

And clawing nails

And gaping mouths

And sinking mud

I have returned the coin placed in my mouth

To pay my way through the river hell

Leaving the shroud of death behind

I am not yet bound

I am not yet a bodyless soul

I am not yet said and done

I have fought my way back to the solid earth

Though the ground is still uncertain and strange

Feeling my way through the treacherous land

Living

Breathing

Being