Flat

My light has gone

There's nothing left

I try

But 

I'm always the joke

Who cares how you feel

They make you a joke anyway

Who cares  how you feel

You always make a joke anyway

I tried to 

Be what I couldn't be

But I thought I could

There's no reason

To even try

I tried to be a someone

But there's no hope in that

I tried to be a no one

But that too fell flat

Old Foe

Ah my old foe
I see you've returned
I knew that one day
You'd reappear
From nowhere
And make your way here

You never quite left
Your presence still hung
Like a specter
Who needs to
Return to
The place that it knew

Did I welcome you in
Did I leave the door open
Were you somehow invited
By a simple sigh, unspoken

A gesture perhaps
That gave you a sign
Just waiting for the moment
To re-invade my mind

Do I think too much
Is it simple to see
Am I the specter
That continues to reappear
From nowhere
Making my way here

So it seems now
Why was I so blind
My ghost is my penance
Of my own making
My soul taking
Sanity breaking

My old foe

Remember

I float

Gazing at the night

Feeling the drift

And waves

Porcelain walls

Beautiful stars

With careful ridges

Lovely edges

Deep

Smooth curve

Crevice

Clawfoot

Breathing

In

Out

Beautiful petals

Stretch

Like ink

Of warm

Reminiscence

Head bowed

Beautiful fingers

Of pink

And lovely

Tiny petals

Of sagging

Dying

Beautiful

Crying

Petals

Mime

I woke up with sand in my eye
Funny how it feels
Like a silly tear in my eye
Formed by sadness and despair
By nightmares
By careless
Whispers in the dark

That side of the bed is cold
Still warmer than it had been
While you were here
Impersonating a soul
Your poetic mournful cry
For regrets
Because it made you feel alive

But that silly sand in your eye
Was just enough
To look like a truthful tear in your eye
Feigning sadness and despair
You spoke of Kerouac and Poe
Your perfect soul men
And you.  Masquerading as a mime

Image\:  www.gprc.ab.ca

Hubris

I said goodbye to him

He said

"it's not you, it's me

I am unable to love, 

Believe me.

I would if I could

You’d be perfect for me

This isn't a made up moment

I swear"

"I'm not for you, you deserve so much

I would only hold you back

It's not you, it's me

With deepest sincerity"

He silently told me

To leave him the fuck alone

Pretty pretty please.

He hung his head in mocking sorrow

Which hurt more than his words

A drooping figure

Who acts the part

Like a man shot through the heart

A man who pretends to have a heart

What a wicked way to pretend

He mastered a wicked way to pretend

Dipping his poison pen in a well

He somehow managed to feel and tell

Overcoming his grief that almost did him in

He managed to find a way to begin

Again

With a story that "hurt" his soul to the end

A story that was all pretend

He received all the accolades one can get 

In a place that isn't worth its place in sweat

He reveled in his holy tomb

A place of self-importance

A sorcerer's room

What a wicked wicked way to pretend

When a forger writes of regrets

What a wicked wicked way to be 

When hubris and shame have not yet met 

 傲慢

Staccato

The drooping eyelids
The not quite sallow skin
The half smile in a souless grin

The unhealthy breath
The thinning hair
The burden
Of life to bear

The downs are written
Upon her face
The joys are hidden in the gloom

The sadness in her eyes
Projects
Nothing
Nothing
Just doom

Each step forward
Reveals a past
Not welcome
But still received

Longing for forward
Belonging to the past
Hopeless
For hope
As a flower to a weed

Flowers

  -  12:01 AM

 

Flowers

A wisewoman once told me
Spring is for the dead
Flowers burst
When life went dry
When bulbs went dry
Then they bloomed
But don't be fooled
They're still
Blooming
For the dead